My Beloved

My Beloved. 

Ephesians 1:5-6 

“For it was always in His perfect plan to adopt us as his delightful children, through our union with Jesus, the Anointed One, so that his tremendous love that cascades over us would glorify his grace for the same love he has for Beloved, Jesus, he has for us. And this unfolding plan brings him great pleasure!”

 Its always been so hard for me to grasp the reality that He loves me. God loves me with the same love he has for Jesus. WHATTTTT??! The King of glory and Lord of all LOVES ME! The past couple of months the word “beloved” has stuck out to me, I thought it was a pretty word and a good reminder that I’m dearly loved. But I never let that truly sink in. 

 So while at training camp I felt like I had some doors closed off to God and I couldn’t tell what it was. The Lord had continued to gently remind me that something was distant in our relationship but I seriously could not figure it out. You could ask all my friends I was like “ I FEEL LIKE I HAVE DOORS SHUT BUT I DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE AHHHHHH” LOL. Any way one day after a session we were at our SMP (squad meeting point) and we were asking our leader Drew some questions and he had started talking about his friend who was struggling in his walk with the Lord and Drew reminded him that one of the most important things in your relationship with God is to just love him! And to let him love you I mean cmon we love because He first loved us! Love is at the root of our relationship with God. He loved us so he created Eden a place where  we can walk in communion with God, we chose ourselves over him so he sent his son as a living sacrifice for us because of his GREAT LOVE. 

It clicked with me that the doors I had shut were all about accepting Gods love and then returning that love back to God.

 Fast forward a few days we had our second revival worship night and it was going REALLY WELL I felt so connected to the Father and so free to worship him. And then my heart started to feel distant and my mind became distracted. My heart started pounding and I was like UHH WHAT LOL and then I felt the Holy Spirit tell me to go sit with my leader Bernadette who was on the ground journaling during worship. So I turn around and fell in to her lap and she seriously held me all of worship. I was so tempted to get up because I didn’t want to be annoying. But I feel like God was telling me “its okay, sit with Bern I’m loving you through her! feel her embrace and let it remind you of how sweet it is to sit in my presence” UM OKAY WOWOWOW

Immediately after worship 3 of my good friends on my squad came up and tackled me with a huge hug out of no where “just because they loved me”. And then my sweet friend Kori came up to me and spoke some kinds words over me and reminded me of how much she loved me!!!! 

OKAY GOD I SEE YOU LOVING ME THROUGH YOUR CHILDREN SO WELL!!!

 And then a random girl I’ve literally never met came up to me and said “I have something to tell you but I can’t tell you right now” and she just walked away LOL HELLO? Anyway long story short I saw her on campus the next day and we went on a walk so she could tell me what God had put on her heart for me at worship the night before and this is what she said/ wrote down for me 

“ Ask the Lord what he wants your new name to be.

I feel like last night he kept saying – she’s my BELOVED, my daughter, my prize, my beloved. She’s the fullness of grace the one with whom I love. Grace on grace. Eph 4:1-16. Man Alexis He LOVES you. He’s so proud of you. Eph 1:5-6 “For it was always in His perfect plan to adopt us as his delightful children, through our union with Jesus, the Anointed One, so that his tremendous love that cascades over us would glorify his grace for the same love he has for Beloved, Jesus, he has for us. And this unfolding plan brings him great pleasure!” The Lord had a lot to say about this word (Adoption).That you are so adopted by the Father. That you have a heart that brings people to the Kingdom. Defined by your identity in God.” – Carissa

 Carissa had no idea the Lord had been laying the word “beloved” on my heart and it was so cool to be reminded of the way God sees me! His beloved. God shows me His love for me through so many cool new ways and I get to show him I love him by chasing Him EVERY SINGLE DAY!

 ALSO! My squad leaves for Cambodia October 14th! Please be praying for safe travels and that the love of Jesus would flow through us to all the people we encounter!